A Gardener’s Guide to Swearing

The definition of this countersign does n’t techinically mean much until it has happened to you . If it has , you will sympathize why it ’s so loaded with emotion that it ’s of cuss - calibre . Here ’s the scenario :

I plant a lovely garden . I turn up the seam , ammended the soil , pick out and buy the works and savvy a half a zillion holes to embed them . I watered and fertilize them . And yet- those plants seem like they ’d cough up a lung biscuit , if they could . They search sorry and embarrassing , weedy and weak .

I know I did everything right . I sheer no corner , I drop money , prison term and sweat . One day I heard the neighborhood squirrel cause a rave in the neighbour ’s curtilage and … Holy Juglans nigra . It ’s a black-market walnut tree .

There is plant poisonous substance in all part of the stinkin ’ blackened walnut Sir Herbert Beerbohm Tree ; the leaves that fall on my side of the fence in fall ( and then ca n’t be composted ) , the walnuts that the squirrels cast at my dog , the roots that can pollute everything 50 foot from the trunk . Even if I hook into my neighbour ’s M in the middle of the night , dressed as a ninja , and rationalize it down- the toxin would last in the filth for up to 50 years …

The name of this toxin ?

JUGLONE !

I now apply this word for anytime I have my ducks in a row and it all fall aside anyways and there ’s nothing I can do to fix it . render it .

“ Man , that get together reallyjuglonedup my daylight . ”

“ The head gasket blow on my car is such a plenty ofjuglone . ”

“ That guy like to make trouble- He ’s such ajugloner . ”

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